点评，如何依托文本指导学生仿写英语作文-快乐布衣-新乡市第二十二中学杨诗云-校讯通博客

点评，如何依托文本指导学生仿写英语作文

分类：参赛文章 2014-03-22 17:22

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英语写作技能如何培养？学生的写作如何指导？一直是很多老师头疼的问题。我们经常发现一些老师到了初三，才想起来抓作文，抓写作，惯用的手法是找几篇范文，打印出来，让学生背一背，然后告诉学生，考场上遇到这样的写作题目，就照着这样写就行了，至于为什么要这样写，写的时候注意些什么，学生却知之甚少。英语强调听说读写能力的培养，读之所以在写的前面，是因为阅读会为学生的写作积累素材，让学生发现方法，从而启发学生的写作思路。

牛津英语第二单元的Reading的题目是A trip to Hong Kong 里面有这样一段文字。Today we spent the whole day at Disneyland.

We got to the park by underground. First, we had fun on Space Mountain-- an indoor roller coaster in the dark. It moved at high speed and was really exciting!We were screaming and laughing through the ride.

Next, we hurried to a restaurant to have a quick character,such as Snow White and Mickey Mouse. They were so cute.

Everybody got excited when a parade of Disney characters began later in the afternoon. It was the best part of the day. I ran after them and couldn't stop taking photos. After the parade, we watched a 4-D film. It was like magic. We could even smell the apple pie and feel the wind.

Then we did some shopping . I bought a couple of key rings. I'm sure you will love them.

At the end of the day, we watched the fireworks in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle. The castle looked bright and beautiful under the fireworks.

在处理这段文字的时候，我做了如下处理一、让学生去找文章的写作顺序，你觉得本文是按照什么顺序写的，请找出你所找到的线索词。二、能否将这几段文字缩写呢？三、你从这篇范文中得到了哪些写作启示？四、根据你的学习经验，写过去发生的事情除了本文的写作顺序外还有哪些写作方式？

于是学生很快得出了如下结论：描述一件事情要按照时间先后顺序，可以使用first, second, next ,then ,finally 来描述旅行中先后发生的多件事。也可以用in the morning ,in the afternoon, in the evening.来描述一天中发生的事情，还可以用on the first day, on the second day, on the third day...按天来叙述旅行生活。这些学生自己总结出来的写作技巧很快他们就学会了运用。在月考中出了一篇游南京的游记给材料作文。我们班的一位英语成绩一般的同学写出了下面的好文章。

A trip to Nanjing 作者：冯霁震

I went Nanjing with my parents during the Spring Festival.I had a wonderful time.

First，My parents and I visited the Confucius Temple.

Second,We had a boat trip along Qinhuai River.The river is nice and clean.There are many fish in the river.

Third,We listened to Kunqu Opera.I love this voice.

Finally,We spent two hours climbing Zijin Mountain.The top of the mountain is beautiful.I enjoyed natural beauty.

I love this trip very much,I hope I can visit it again.

【点评】本文结构完整，层次清晰。开头有观点I had a wonderful time .中间对事件的描述很清晰：first, second, third, finally 用的很好，而且叙述详略得当。结尾表达了自己的感受和希望I love this trip very much,I hope I can visit it again. 使文章结构更加完整，首尾呼应。对一般现在时和一般过去时的运用也非常准确。是一篇很好的习作！唯一的一处不足是went后面丢了to .

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